So you know when you’re around some people or events that just drain your energy?  You know who I’m talking about, is it Aunt Martha that likes to talk a lot about her health problems, or is it the boss that pushes his agenda onto you?  Here are 6 Great Tips to Protect your energy from them!

1.  Realize that it is YOUR energy and you don’t have to share it

Often times you feel an obligation to share your energy with someone that may clearly breach your space and energy. Women are very susceptible to this because we think that we must be nice, or we must be accommodating.  We don’t want to offend anyone, so we’d rather allow them to infringe our energy and suck us dry.  This does not honor your energy!  When you feel someone breaching your energy, take a step back and evaluate.  Ask yourself, “Who’s energy am I sharing…and it is worth it?”

2.   GROUND your Energy

Ever heard of the phrase, your best defense is a good offense?  This is the same concept.  Having in your awareness that your energy should be grounded will allow you to not be susceptible to energy zappers.  One way to do this is to align your body in a straight up and down position, and close your eyes.  You can also imagine an imaginary line running from your belly button to the ground (3 or 4 feet below you) and then from your belly button, to chest through your head and to the sky.  In ancient cultures this would be called, “Aligning your Hara”, but we’ll call it Getting Grounded.  Take three deep breaths and concentrate on getting grounded.  This will allow you to align your energy to be fully aware of your surroundings and your energy.  So key!

3.  Your Time, Your Money and Your Resources are Energy

Has anyone ever taken up too much of your time?  Is it that pesky sales person or the obligations that you feel to run the PTA, or to clean the house inside and out every day? Or have people asked for money and you did not want to give it?  It just did not feel right?  These are all examples that your energy extends to your resources beyond your body.  Honoring your time energy, and your money energy to be in alignment with what is true for you instead of what is true for others is another way to eliminate those energy zappers.  If you spend your resources because you feel obligated rather than having the choice or the desire to do so zaps your energy.  Be aware of your choices regarding these energies.

4.  NO is the new YES

This is a wonderful saying that a good friend Ken Bechtel at Finding You in the Goo uses constantly.  Instead of feeling energetically that NO is a negative concept, realize that when you say no, you are saying YES to yourself.  And who is the most important person in this world to you?  YOU.  So, honor your importance and be okay with saying NO to others, you are in fact saying YES to yourself!

5.  Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries

When I first realized I had boundary issues, I immediately thought “No way, people with boundary issues are those that are like doormats, they’ll do whatever, whenever for whoever…that’s not me.”  But it was, and it was a horrible eye opener!

Boundaries come in many shapes and sizes.  Boundaries, whether physical, or energetic, are so very important to honoring yourself.  Are you getting pushed around at work because you are not willing to stand up and fight the good fight?  It is just easier to go with the flow?  Are you uncomfortable with how fast your spouse drives the car with your kids in the car, but you aren’t allowed to say anything?  These are all examples of boundaries.  It is really about you—not about them.  In order to be clear about your boundaries, you must be clear about what you are okay with, and what you are not okay with.

6.  Push or Pull Your Energy When necessary

When confronted with a persistent energy, it may become necessary to Push your energy, or to Pull on another’s energy.  What this essentially does is gives you the POWER to be able to make change, get proactive and take back your energy.  I have found that when I am in contact with someone who likes to pull my energy, or drain me, I often have to PUSH back.  Sometimes I give little warnings, or little signals, and when they do not respond, and then I give a decent energetic push.  It does not have to be mean, and the push can come from a simple statement with good intentions.  “I’d really love to explain why I did what I did, but I do not feel that this is the right time or place to engage in such a conversation.”  Assertive, respectful, and direct.  This is what occurs when your energy is in alignment with your intentions.

You may be thinking that a lot of this is dealing with normal human emotions, but there is an energetic shift that occurs even before the emotions occur or the discussion happens.  This is the energy that I am talking about.  Most of you have felt energy when you’re around someone that is angry, the energy feels harsh, or when you’re around someone depressed, the energy feels draining.  Protecting yourself from the volatile energy zappers starts with you, a good defense and an awareness of energy.

For now, Be Grounded, Be Whole, and Be Energetically Adventurous!!

Let me know how your energy is today, leave a comment or a question! I love feedback!

Yet, as I have personally experienced, doctors will diagnose your condition as “stress related” but then just hand you a nice little pill to take.  I’m not discounting the necessity of medications in certain instances, having been in the healthcare field for as long as I have, I completely agree medications in certain patients are a necessity.  But what if your condition is created in your own reality? What if the little pill doesn’t cure the underlying problem?

This is the question you can ask yourself.

So in Part 1, the idea was to get you to identify that you, as a parent, need to take care of yourself first.  We talked about identifying your energy levels, and slowing down your speeds.  Step 1 was to bring into your awareness WHEN you noticed that you were stressed out.

Now in Part 2, we identify 3 Simple Steps to get into action to reduce your stress.

Step 1 — Do Less

What? Do less? ….I can hear all of the “yeah but” comments now.  So let me clarify: Just Do Less.

This step in its simplicity can sometimes be a difficult step to reconcile to yourself because you will argue for your stress.  Doing less is a simple decision you can make.  Let me ask you these questions: Do you need to attend every birthday party for every child in your son or daughter’s class?  Do you need to have your child enrolled in every extracurricular activity leaving you running from baseball to ballet to piano lessons?

Doing less can extend to spending less money and possibly eliminating the need to work so much!  Simplicity is a very freeing feeling. We were able to manage as humans in a simple world before there was money, can we not manage now?  Leo Babuta writes a beautiful blog at www.ZenHabits.net that focuses on simplicity.  Check it out, you may learn that there exists another reality about a simple life.

Doing less can also mean instead of having to take the family to the lake, or skiing, or on activities to feel like that is what proper families should do when spending time together.  Doing less can simply mean, stay at home, read books, have meaningful conversations, be still and enjoy your time together.

Step 2 – When you have a lot to do, then consider Batching

Perhaps you’ve heard of batching as something that people do when they send out large amounts of mail.  At least that’s what I think of when I think of batching.  I first learned about batching from Tim Ferris, author and Lifestyle designer.  I have been employing the idea of batching for a while now.  It is somewhat against what my mother taught me growing up, but it allows me to focus my attention and my time on productivity rather than menial tasks all day long.

Here are some examples of how you can employ batching in your life today:

1. Laundry – The dreaded laundry!  My mother always used to say that it was easier if I did a little bit every day, but having to think about laundry everyday was a mental drain, and a time drain.  Instead we batch our laundry once or twice a week.
2. Bill Paying – If you don’t already have a great system set up, perhaps bill paying can be batched weekly or bi-weekly.
3. Grocery Shopping – Making daily trips to the grocery store not only drains your energy and your time, but can inevitably drain your pocketbook as you are more likely to spend over your budget with frequent trips.  Instead batch your grocery shopping into a weekly task.

I am sure you can come up with other ideas for batching.  The concept is that you get to allow yourself to temporarily forget about a task knowing that you’ll get back to it at a pre-determined time. You are not ignoring the task; you are just deferring it and instead putting your attention to getting other things done.

Stress is sometimes a product of multi-tasking.  New research on this phenomenon shows that people are most effective when they can UNI-task, and their stress levels are lower.  So focus on ONE thing at a time.  Other, more mundane tasks can wait!  So batch on!!

Step 3 – Elicit Teamwork!

I was recently coaching an overworked an overstressed mom that had 3 teenage boys at home!  She says, I’m so tired when I get home, but there’s so much to be done!  We came up with a plan to elicit teamwork from her family so that she does not feel that all of the work needs to fall on her shoulders.

I owe this solution to my dad, a perfectionist with housework, retired Navy and raised Navy brat, he was a stickler for a clean house.  When I was 9, he sat my sisters and I down, and asked us to outline every single chore that had to be done in the house.  When we were done, we divided the chores into 3 areas.  One was kitchen/dishes, then there was the bathroom and linens, lastly was the living area.  We were then each responsible for our areas each week, and we rotated once per week.  It was easy for my dad to keep track of who’s area of responsibility it was that week, and then he was able to be the household manager, instead of the custodian.

Can you pull together your team?  Who is your team? Your family, kids, grandparents?  As the manager and leader of your household, you can elicit their teamwork.  Gain their interest, ask for their involvement, and get their feedback.  It is easiest to get buy-in for chores and duties when it is THEIR idea, not yours.  But they will want to be a part of this great team.  Team members as young as 2 can also take part in contributing to the house!!

Thank you for following along!  Please feel free to post any questions or comments below!  I’d love to hear how you get into action to get out of Stress!! ~Makenzie

I hear this all the time when I encounter people.  Working on two businesses from home, taking care of my husband (whom I might add is recovering quite nicely and doing a great job at this point of taking care of himself!), and shuttling the kids to and from school.  Homework, baseball, play dates, lunches, dinner etc…!

It doesn’t really seem that overwhelming when I am going through my day–well most days.

A LifeHacker’s Views on Time Management

It all starts with my morning, I am not a morning person typically, so I “roll” out of bed around 0730, praying that my husband has been able to make his way to the kitchen before me to put on my morning “heaven” (aka coffee.)  Morning really sets the tone for the rest of the day for me.  This is the part of the day that I have to really be present, to focus my energies, to align with the stars, to regain my Chi.…and ALL of it!  Because if I ALLOW my morning to go bad, then quite frequently I have a hard time getting in front of my day.

The concept of Time is a funny one to me, because some days just seem to go by so quickly and some are a meaningless mess and drag out forever!  Yet, Time always Feels in my favor, when I have a chance to get my energy AHEAD of TIME.  Makes sense or no?  If I can be present in the NOW, slow down my “reaction speeds” and work on my “proaction” speed, then it seems like Time is on my side.  ProActivity vs. ReActivity

Of course part of this proaction speed is defining my day! I define my day on several levels.

1. How do I want to FEEL today? What do I want my energy to be like?  Do I want to be a pissed off, angry mom?  Or do I want to be a happy, joyful, peaceful, fun mom?  (I choose the latter because it is more fun!)
2. What do I want to DO today? And for some this seems like a ridiculous question because you HAVE to do so many things.  So let me point you back to the idea of Proaction…  When you choose to do something, you allow yourself to feel proactive, it’s your choice, it’s your decision! Yay!  When you feel that you HAVE to do something, you’re reacting to outside influence…and well 99.999% of the time you’re the only one that can make the choice for YOU!!  So are you being responsible for your choice, or are you giving up your power of choice?  Think on this for a little while.…
3. What do I want to BE? This can be such a broad statement, but often I chose to be inspired, to be fun, to be happy!!  I also chose to BE a MOM, to be an Entrepreneur, to be a Runner.…  I get to choose these things everyday!  What do you choose?

A few simple steps to align your Mind with Clarity and good energy will allow you to get ahead of TIME!

(PS — I also do this trick, that was recommended by Zig Ziglar that on days when I roll out of bed and feel just cruddy, I jump up and down 10 times, laugh and say “This is the best day of my life!” “This is the best day of my life!”.…then I look in the mirror and say “I’m talking to you–turn that frown upside down!”  It is so ridiculous, but it’s a fantastic pattern interrupt!  Works!!)

I don’t know if you recognize that a lot of my posts are about getting your MIND and your ENERGY in the right spot.  Little of it has to do with how much time or effort I put into certain tasks.  I used to be that very task focused-driven person.…but it didn’t work for me, I was a miserable mess!  So I had to try something different.  Focusing on my thoughts before focusing on my actions was the BIGGEST difference.  IT works…no bullshit here!

Two more “No Bullshit” LifeHacker Tips:

The best Wheat Bread on this Side of the Mississippi:

This is the EASIEST bread recipe I have found.  You have to do it 2 or 3 times until you find the routine, and you will be asking why you spend so much on bread at the store!!

1. 1 cup warm water
2. 1 Tablespoon Milk
3. 2 Tablespoons oil
4. 3 Tablespoons Honey (I usually add more!)
5. 2 Tablespoons Brown Sugar ( I sometimes substitute Molasses)
6. 1 teaspoon Salt
7. 1–1/2 cups all-purpose flour
8. 1–1/2 cups whole wheat flour
9. 2 teaspoons instant active dry yeast.

1. Combine Ingredients #1-#6 in a large mixing bowl, stir.

2. Add flours and yeast, and knead (turn on the kitchenaid mixer) for 10–15 minutes.  Dough should be smooth and elastic.  Place dough in a greased bowl, turning once to grease top.  Cover with plastic wrap, let rise in warm area (usually above the refridgerator or oven works well.)

3. Punch down dough; knead for a few minutes until smooth then form into a loaf.  Place in a greased loaf pan and cover.  Let rise again until doubled, about 30 min.

4. Bake at 350 for 30–25 minutes.  Remove when done and allow to rest in pan just for a few minutes (any longer and it starts to sweat!)  Easy peasy!  Enjoy!

HOMEWORK!!

I don’t know about you, but my biggest battle with homework is trying to just get it done!!  How many times have I asked him?  Is it done yet?  Finally I was exasperated by my attempts to finish it the night before it was due (for us, it’s a Wednesday!) and I thought, well, I will do what many companies do when they want the job done ahead of schedule…factor in BONUSES!!

So his homework schedule looks like this:

Homework comes home on Friday due on Thursday.

If it’s complete by Monday — $3 bonus.…

If it’s complete by Tuesday — $2 bonus.…

If it’s complete by Wednesday $0!!!

Why $0 on Wednesday? The goal was to get him to complete his homework before crunch time, so now he’s self-motivated to complete his homework on Monday or Tuesday.  He doesn’t have to do it over the weekend, and he gets to choose when he wants to do it.  Either choice has an impact, but it’s ultimately his choice!!

Thanks to all of my readers who so graciously follow along with my posts!  You inspire me everyday to make great posts!  Feel free to drop me a line and make comments!!  Many Adventures to You! ~Makenzie

I first wanted to share a life lesson that I encountered early.  I know that most people have experienced friends or family members that have passed away at some point in their life and I have too.  But one person that affected me greatly, was a person that I didn’t even know.

A Hard Lesson at 21

I was 21, and it was Thanksgiving-eve.  It was another shift on my paramedic internship, and I was responding to a call for a “man down”.  We got these calls occasionally, and usually it was a transient passed out on the corner.  This call was about 11:30 in the evening and it was raining and cold outside.  The call was for a man down in the street.  We drove around in circles for close to 15 minutes at the location of the described area.  We couldn’t find him.  Then we saw a bystander waving us down.

In the middle of the street there was a young man, face down, he appeared have been skateboarding and fell.  He didn’t appear injured except that he was not responding and his breathing was very irregular, he also was laying in a pool of vomit.  We had to put a breathing tube into this throat to help him breathe better, bystanders said he had a dog with him and was walking his dog.

We did what we could medically to help him and transported him to the nearest trauma room.  He died later of a massive brain injury.  He was 25.  My fiance (soon to be husband) at the time was 25 too…they looked the same. That really bothered me.  I don’t even remember the man’s name.

You don’t expect at first to be asked to try save someone your age when you are that young (and fail).  For me, still in my early formative years, it was a hard and fast lesson:  LIFE IS SHORT.

Up to then, I had only seen old faces pass away. Since then, I have seen faces of all ages leave.

What are you doing with your time?

So when I approach people and talk about time, I do it in a very deliberate way.  I ask, “What is your most cherished memory?”

Most people do not respond with “Getting a paycheck every other week.”  It usually has to do with how they shared an experience with someone, learned a new skill, received an award, etc…  I am not discounting the importance of making money, because I think it is an important tool for an enriched life.

Simple Truths I’ve Learned about Money and Time

Can Money make you Happy?

While some may think I am completely insane about this, there has been research that shows once basic human needs are met (food, shelter, clothing etc…) which equates to about $40,000 (okay maybe $50,000 in California) the additional income does NOT significantly increase one’s happiness levels.

More money does not equate to more happiness.

Trust me, I’ve known many people with a lot of money that are more miserable now than before. (Added stress, added possessions, added risk etc)

Can Money buy Time?

Can Money Buy Time?

While you can argue that money can allow one to work more efficiently, hire help to do tasks that one doesn’t have time to do, money, in it’s purest form is really just a mechanism for trade.

It is no different than when the farmers used bales of grain to trade for a cow.  You cannot physically buy time, it is not tangible.

You TRADE money for TIME.  This is what most employees do, or if you are hiring help, this is what you are doing by hiring a house cleaner, personal assistant etc…

But let me be very clear here, you cannot BUY TIME. You cannot “own” time and you certainly cannot make more of it.  You can just enjoy each minute as it comes!

A New Goal This Year

So as I am sitting here, and reflecting on my past, I cannot change it, only appreciate the lessons that the past has taught me.  I cannot change the experiences that time has already delivered, I cannot pay to get that time back.  I can only be present in the NOW time.  (Oh, and that’s a free activity by the way!)

The best way that I know how to honor my most valuable asset is to be Present and Aware now.  For me this sometimes means turning my brain off, and sitting in the stress, the emptiness, the anxiety of the now.

Is it hard for you to “shut it off” like me?  Yes! I get  anxious like I should be doing something. That something is just stuff to fill up my time, it’s not my conscious decision about how I want to spend my time.

After some practice, that anxiety  passes, and soon your time will be spent in relaxation, enjoyment, and happiness.

My second goal is to either be spending my time in one of two states:

1. Relaxation/Enjoyment  or 2. Productivity.

The in-between states are just clutter that fill your life, add stress and don’t honor your time.  See my “To-Do” list for a short list of things that bring relaxation and enjoyment!

Productivity is important to an Entrepreneur.  I need an Area and Time where I can create and be productive. Often times one mistakes productivity for sending emails, doing bills, answering others emergencies, Twittering, Face-booking etc..

Productivity is about the time that you set aside to create your goals, create your life… putting aside the trees for the forest.  Productivity requires unmatched focus, uninterrupted time.

As a successful Entrepreneur and LifeStyle Designer, I am putting these mechanisms in place to protect my most valuable asset.  I am securing my currency of time.  How are you honoring your time?  Happy New Year!

I really wanted to share with everyone how exceptionally excited I am to have Retired!  I guess I like to use the term Retire because it really epitomizes the mindset that I have taken regarding my new life transition.

Some define retire as:

To withdraw from one’s occupation, business, or office

To fall back or retreat, as from battle

To move back or away; recede.

I have definitely withdrawn.…

I moved back or almost like the tide, I’ve receded.    Yet, I really enjoy the second definition, as I’ve fallen back or retreated as from battle! Wow!  I definitely felt like I was in a losing TIME battle, and with the decision to fall back, I have regained my Life! Deciding not to continue to fight the battle doesn’t always mean you lose.  Sometimes you find out that you’re only battling yourself, you are your worst enemy in some situations.

Retiring young DOES NOT mean:

Well what the heck do I mean then?

This type of retirement stinks

How DID I retire at 33?

Gasp!  I know.  I can’t believe I am saying this.  I really do believe that my son is smart, and at the same time, he does need guidance and a good “education”.  Sometimes I ask myself what type of education he is getting in school. 

The public schools of California rank 47th among the nation in spending and get a respective “D” for academic achievement.  Wow, he may learn more if I just drop him off at the local McDonalds everyday. 

But it is not just the California schools that aren’t teaching our kids.  I think as parents we get trapped into thinking that our children learn everything they need to at school.  But in, fact they do not. 

How are we to teach our kids about the love of adventure, about financial independence, about being creative and creating a living for themselves?  School will not teach that.  In fact, I never learned a thing about finance until I was well into college. 

Financial independence and how to create money is definitely not taught in school.  In fact one of my friends keyed it well when he said, “The only thing school teaches our kids, is how to be good workers.” 

Well, there is a much valued need for good workers.  But shall I doom my children to the rat race before they even have a chance?  Send them to school from 8 to 3, fill out the forms, get good grades, only to find out that they didn’t learn all the other needed skills? 

It is no wonder why there are more than 1 Mil homeschooled children in America.  And as more and more are studying the impact of homeschooled children, they are finding that homeschoolers are more motivated, smarter and graduate earlier than their respective peers. 

I had the opportunity to meet one such homeschooled woman the other day.  She finished high school at 16!  She gained an average of 2 years to live her life and do what she wanted by taking this route.

When time is such a precious commoditiy, as I believe it is, is it possible school, the way it is now,  is just a waste of time?